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WELCOME TO the balto bunny project
It was early 2008 when I came to a very clear crossroads in my life. I had been heavy dosages of antidepressants and anti-anxiety medications, sleeping pills, etc. for 10˝ years. It was time to face the fact that I had lived in denial of all these years. They were not working, in some respects actually made me worse, and I was dying a slow and painful death inside. I had lost myself just slowly enough over the years to not realize it. I decided to get off all the medications and pick up the pieces of myself that I could still find. The withdrawal was an unbelievable nightmare. In addition to the emotional distress, I endured months and months of agonizing physical problems such as gut-wrenching nausea and debilitating brain zaps. It was during this very dark time that I started looking online at forums for people who were withdrawing and detoxing from their meds, and I found tons of heartbreaking posts from people who were suffering incredibly. It seemed they posted briefly to let some of their agony out, but I am still haunted, wondering where they are now. Did they make it through and find a better, drug- free life for themselves? My heart broke to think of them, their only outlet ranting on scattered forums and receiving little comfort or support.
I decided that if I actually made it through the experience I would create a forum for education, inspiration, and comfort for those who also decided to choose this new and often scorned path. This site is also an important read for anyone considering or currently taking antidepressants or anti-anxiety medications. This topic is so timely, as TV commercials are starting to appear for new supplemental medications, stating "4 out of 5 people taking antidepressants report that they do not always work". More and more celebrities are speaking openly about depression and are being prescribed medication. If more and more people are taking these medications and they are not working, shouldn't this be a clue that something else is wrong? To me it was a big clue, amongst many clues that I ignored by listening only to my psychiatrist and taking my medicine every day for over a decade. I spent 8 years in therapy, which did nothing at all to improve my situation because the doctors never dug below the surface of my everyday life.
I have now discovered what is at the root of my depression and I am working on fixing it, instead of covering it up with a tiny band-aid. I truly feel better than I ever have, and for the first time I feel like I am moving forward and actually a part of life. There is a lot of information on this site as to my experiences and conclusions that I have come to on this difficult journey dealing with severe depression and anxiety. My message is: "Depression is curable. It is a difficult puzzle that has many pieces. Doctors and pharmaceutical companies insist that the universal truth of depression is that treatment means medication. Figure out what your personal truth is. When you learn to listen to that inner truth, life opens up and embraces you, you begin to move forward towards healing. It is unacceptable that millions of people are victims of doctors irresponsibly prescribing meds and ruining lives. This is the modern day equivalent of committing someone to a mental institution. Do not go gently into that good night…"
"The definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over and expecting different results. For 10˝ years, I lived in a state of perpetual insanity."
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THE BIRTH OF BALTO BUNNY
