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We have to create a change in consciousness in our society. We have come a long way in the last few decades to where we now acknowledge depression and anxiety disorders as illnesses, which replaced the old mind set of "stop feeling sorry for yourself". But this is not enough. We have only climbed to the first rung in consciousness about this epidemic. We need to realize that this is something we can solve within ourselves, but it involves a commitment beyond taking a pill every morning. It is not something that randomly strikes us at various points in life, which we fall mercy to, and the only hope and course of action is medication. Anti-depressants should be a last resort, and currently it is our first and only resort.
When I was feeling my worst, I would listen to public radio at night. I would listen to people from Afghanistan and Iraq, refugees, Holocaust survivors, people from such unbelievably dire circumstances, tell their stories. I believed I was helping myself by learning about all of this, comparing it to myself, and rather harshly berating myself for having the audacity to be depressed or anxious. These were people who had earned the right to feel as badly. I had no right. Again, I ignored a little voice deep within that said something about this seems wrong. This is a prime example of how we are all conditioned to think since early childhood. We are not taught to acknowledge our feelings, our pain, or how things have affected and shaped us, we are taught to be ashamed of it.
The first step in healing from depression and anxiety disorders is to get to know yourself, free from the experience of others. It is surprising how difficult this is. How much shame there is, and how much un entitlement is felt. That is because we are conditioned to do the opposite from early on. Each one of us is unique. We have unique sensitivities. We need to spend time getting to know and understand this about ourselves. Maybe you were not "abused" as child, but that does not mean that things that happen didn't affect you, or that you have any less of a "right" to feel pain over these things than a more severe case. We have all been shaped by the environments we grew up in, and we also carry with us into adulthood, a lifetime of learned behavior. What we fail to realize is that when we acknowledge these feelings free from judgement or comparison, when we begin to feel them, that is how we heal. When we connect a feeling to the circumstance, anger, grief, etc, that is when we can let go of it. This has been a topic that I have been exploring extensively lately, and I felt compelled to write about it when a close family member who is really having a hard time after being left by her husband commented that she is so depressed but feels like she has no right feeling that way, after all, think of all the people in the world who are really suffering.
Think about it this way. If a person you loved deeply came to you and shared something that was very upsetting to them, would you tell them what they are upset about is trivial and they need to get over it and go on medication if they can't? How unkind. How inhuman. Yet we do it to ourselves without even realizing it. We need to treat ourselves at least as kindly as we would treat a friend. I honestly struggle with this. When I have something on my mind, it is like an instinct to get into that old mind set. I make a conscious effort to "step outside of myself". Think of this person struggling as a friend I care about. What would I do for them? Would I validate their pain and allow them to grieve? Yes.
There are a lot of reasons we fight this. We believe that if we allow ourselves to feel sorry for ourselves, we think that will become our permanent mind set. We do not realize or believe that once we acknowledge our feelings, and we allow ourselves to feel them, they are diffused. They are only with us as long as we keep them hidden in dark chambers within ourselves. Shedding light on them and spending some time with them does not mean we will turn into weak, self- pitying people. Quite the opposite is true. We become free, lighter and more powerful to explore our destiny.
We also need to take responsibility for our thoughts and gain control of our minds, at least to a certain extent. Our minds are full of cars zipping all over the place with no drivers. Visualization, relaxation and breathing techniques are so powerful. Meditation, which used to be a word that came with some very kooky stigmas is slowly evolving to a more mainstream practice ( I never wanted to know anything about it, after all, popping a pill is easier, and just what the doctor ordered). I can tell you this: since I have been attending a group on Thursday evenings and downloaded some CDs to my pod, I have had a much easier time getting a handle on my anxiety. I have taken responsibility for my mind and its thoughts, instead of popping a pill.
Mindfulness is a similar non-religious practice growing in popularity, where one learns to observe the moment and the things going on around you and inside you. By living truly in the moment, we can have no anxiety or depression. The past is where depression lives and the future is where anxiety lives, and when our mind is leaning in either direction… well, we don't feel so good.
We need to acknowledge the connection between mind and body. (This is a topic I will be expanding in the near future). I mean this in two ways: your body and what you put into your body. We need to realize that foods, vitamins, water, everything we ingest plays a role in affecting our moods, our hormone levels which affect moods, our energy level, and our cellular regeneration, especially in the brain. Eating an alkalizing diet, and avoiding foods that trigger or aggravate depression & anxiety is more powerful in lifting the symptoms that most people can imagine. Just because you are not "allergic" to a food does not mean you do not have a sensitivity to it. Sensitivities are harder to detect and can cause anxiety, depression, mood swings, etc. We also need to realize how much power moving & exercising has over brain chemistry. (There is great explanation of this in Train Your Mind, Change Your Brain: How a New Science Reveals Our Extraordinary Potential to Transform Ourselvesby Sharon Begley). Exercising greatly improves the levels of Seratonin in your brain. And when our bodies are stiff, a certain percentage of our daily energy is used to prevent muscles from extending past their limits to avoid injury. Stretching (yoga) not only allows energy to move more freely through our body, it also strengthens the body's relaxation response and creates a peaceful sense of mindfulness that lasts throughout the day. There are many supplements that are known to help with depression and anxiety, for example Sam-e, B-complex, Omega 3's, vitamin D3. This is another area of the site that I will continue to work on, but for now, just realize this important message: your brain is fueled and regenerated by what you put in your body. The nutrients you ingest are the building blocks for new brain cells. Hormones which affect moods and feelings are controlled by what you put into your body. There is far more of a connection between what you ingest and what goes on in your brain than we are educated about in the mainstream news.
Therapy is imperative. If you suffer from major depression and/ or anxiety, I can not overstate how important it is to seek the help of a professional who is trained in some form of psychoanalysis. You are wasting your time and money if you are seeing a doctor who deals with the spills after they happen, instead of getting to the root of why they are happening in the first place. I do not belive that even the most self-aware people can do this on their own. We are only capable of seeing things through our own eyes, and processing them through our personal life experiences. You need outside help from a trained professional. It is amazing the connections that they can help you make and the conclusions and resolution you can experience when you have the right person helping you. Your entire life will change, as you become freer and lighter. I was hoping to get off anti-depressants and be magically better. I was so disheartened to find out this was not the case. I did feel a lot better in a million ways, but life was still very difficult. Looking back, I could never ever have made the progress that I have made without the right kind of help.
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THE BIRTH OF BALTO BUNNY
