Time to get out of the melted Volvo

This is a story of how I spent many years in the backseat of a melted Volvo. We all have moments in life where we take a situation and define ourselves by it. Often we carry this scenario with us throughout life, like a duplicate of the original crime scene, re aligning all the components […]

Be a bright spot

There comes a point in your life when you find your religion. It comes straight out of nowhere, shooting straight through all the dirt and grime in your life and penetrating deep into the untouched parts of your soul with its purity. It is the culmination of all your experiences and the content of your […]

Looking back from the opposite shore

I used to have two favorite hobbies. The first was Ambien in the bathtub. I’d take a couple and sink down low into the oversized tub, tilting my head back and nodding off as the warm water would slide up my nose and down the back of my throat. Eventually, I’d use the last drop […]

Chemicals darken your shine

It is my theory that people who are depressed have special sensitivities and actual gifts inside of them. Without knowing what is going on, they feel the power of this and because they were never taught any other way, when they get a little taste of the feeling, it scares them and they shut down […]


The first thing that happens when we get overwhelmed or depressed is nutrition goes right out the window. This feeds mood swings, anxiety, depression and irritability and creates a cycle that can only spiral downward. It may create a temporary high, but the crash you suffer is not worth it. Everything you put into your […]


These are some books that i found really helpful during my struggle


In addition to depression and anxiety, I suffered for most of my life from PTSD, recurring night mares and night terrors. Even when it was at it’s lowest level, I still suffered immensely. I had gripping bouts of pure terror and flashes of my own death that were so disruptive I lost my vision for […]


discovered acupuncture out of total desperation. A few weeks into my detox, in addition to all of the other horrendous afflictions I was suffering from, I was nauseous in a way that I had never know nor could I have possibly ever conceived of.  It was the most painful gut-wrenching nausea that literally felt like […]


Neurofeedback is an alternative treatment that helped me immeasurably while going through the hell of my detox. (And it was actually covered by my insurance!) I went 2x a week for several months, and although it has been almost 2 years, I still can feel the lasting results as far as the ability to control […]